- Bribe Fighter
- 11 years ago
- 1104 views
Needed a NOC for renting out a property in the city. The police…
Needed a NOC for renting out a property in the city. The police station was nothing short of a ping-pong table, only with 8 sides rather than 2! After being re-directed about a dozen times, I finally managed to locate the officer who handled NOCs. He was busy chatting on the phone to what seemed like a friend, about what seemed like a weekend outing. I stood there, looking at his desk and the walls, for about 10 mins until he put the phone down and decided to acknowledge my presence in the room.
After asking me what it was that I needed, with as much abandon as I'd have for a pair of socks, he said "it'll take time". I should leave all my documents with the constable and come collect the NOC a week later. As you can probably guess, I wasn't amused. So, I asked him what it is that'll take them a week to process. To which, he replied "we're not sitting idle here waiting for you arrive..". I thought to myself, "well, I'm sure you weren't waiting for me to arrive, but the first part could be debated!".
Anyway, before he finished that sentence, I knew where it was going and what would cut that week down to a few minutes. But, I wasn't going to do it. I asked him again, what exactly is it that'll take so long. This time, he was probably able to see I wasn't prepared or willing to oil the crooked machine and asked me to just leave the documents and leave. Not so quick Mr. Officer, not so quick. I threw a spanner into his well-rehearsed exercise - "someone at the main desk over there said it'll take 5 minutes..". He looked at me like I'd uttered something blasphemous and replied "well, ask him to get it done then!". I said I would have, if he was handling this department. Its you who sits at this desk and that's why I'm here. At this point, he had my documents in his hand and was flipping through them meticulously. That wasn't meant to be a compliment by the way. I knew he was looking for something missing or something that would make his unlawful bid stronger. He couldn't find any. I'm not that naive to walk into one of the government departments without having more than what's necessary to get the work done. All the paperwork was there, in order, but he kept flipping and re-flipping through it like it was some sort of Hebrew gibberish he couldn't quite fathom.
A few minutes later, he pulled out his keyboard and started entering my details into the system. The wish in his eyes looked something like "find me something wrong dear computer..". Few more minutes later, he suddenly seemed to lose his memory and started talking to me in Kannada. All this while, it was part English, part Hindi and, in that time, anyone with half the wit of a cat could tell I wasn't a Kannada speaker. He even had my documents which clearly show where I'm from and what languages I speak. But I can't really complain as the poor guy seemed to have had an immediate lapse of memory and reason. I thought I'd be kind and reminded him that I didn't understand or speak the local language. At which point, he suddenly seemed to put on the idealist preacher mask and started lecturing me about how its "not good" to not know the language of the land you live in and how its an insult to the people and culture of that land! Okay Mr. Officer, thanks for the free advice, but I don't think anyone is getting offended or insulted by me not speaking the local language. I speak the first and second languages of the country and that's alright. We can discuss that over coffee sometime, but right now, what about my NOC?
I asked him if everything was okay and if I could have my NOC and get out of there as I didn't want to take any more of his time. What came next, was nothing short of epic. "You people earn so much, but when it comes to being a little generous towards people who are "selflessly" at your service at all times, you act so selfish." I didn't think for a second that he actually wanted me to buy what he just uttered, but I said everyone gets paid for the job they do and generosity comes out of compassion, not compulsion. He did sign my NOC and said "your work is done, you're welcome!". I said thanks and left.
All in all, this took about an hour. An HOUR. The police have all the time in the world to spend an hour on this kind of trivial paperwork, while we hear stories about how they're under-staffed, over-worked and still unable to attend to pressing matters where they're rightfully needed.
I left the place utterly proud of the country we've built and the people we've trusted to ensure its smooth running! NOT.